Merry Christmas and all that jazz...

Wow it has been so long since I have posted anything. The pas 4 months almost killed me. No really I thought I was going to die of exhaustion. I am happy to report I made it though my Fall 09 semester with straight "A's" and 18 units thankyouverymuch! I actually felt very smart ha ha. It was a long road and at time when I wanted to give up I just kept on pushing through. I am sure I could go on about how amazing it feels to be back home but that is pointless. I am back in New Zealand and yes it is an amazing country and I missed my husband terribly, but I also miss America at this time of year.

This has been one of the crappiest years on record for me and I will be sooooooo grateful when Jan 1 2010 hit. 2009 was a year of harsh realities and true meanings. I lost myself in 09. I fell hard and had to get back on my knees and pray about what I was doing in life. I had to pray about what was important to me. 09 brought some amazing new friends and babies and engagements and weddings. 2009 also brough more tears and anger and pain, that really is not necessary.

On to bigger and better I say. Here is to a new year. A new start. Another 365 days to climb mountain and fall into valleys. 2010 will be a year to work on being a good person. Being a person who is loving and understanding. 2010 is going to be a big year for me and my family. I can feel it. We really need it.

From my family to yours, May you have a very prosperous new year.

XOX

What the hell is wrong with people.

This week has by far been one of the most challenging I have ever had with friends. I am so pissed off. I have one friend who has become a flake.. I have one friend who can't handle the truth of action vs. consequences.. I have another friend who has managed to get himself in a predicament that is hard to understand or being to offer support to.

Maybe I am tired and stress is getting to me with school, but seriously I can't stand it! Is it really that hard to be a good friend to people? I never seem to have a problem being there when im needed or wanted. I am tired of putting my everything out there for my friends and getting NOTHING BACK.


forget it... not even worth it tonight.

Back to School Fool...

Well.. almost two weeks completed in my "Let's go back to school" plan... WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?
Ok, well I know what I was thinking, but it doesn't make it easier. I thought it would be a breeze. I am only taking 18 units but mercy me... It feels like 28! I don't even think when I took 28 at Fresno State I felt this overwhelmed. All six classes are the same and it makes it hard for me to decipher asses from elbows at this point. I am taking all Child Development classes with hopes of opening my own day care or preschool in the near future. Tomorrow is Friday and I only have one class, Thank JESUS!!

I hope to update this blog with all of the ridiculous things I am required to do and the silly people in my class
(We are talking BC here) :) Until then... Bring on Labor day weekend!!!!

Missing my other half.

It has been 16 days since I left my other half. 16 days ago I was in another country, in another season, in another world. I won't get to hug my other half for another 104 days. When I thought of four months I thought of the great parts of being in the US for longer than just a 2 week visit. 104 days left. I am missing him. I know I came here with a purpose. I came here to fulfill my dreams, but sometimes it's the dreams that you make together that matter most. 104 days.

I am sure once school starts it will be better. I have a lot on my mind and well it takes it's toll after awhile. Hence the posting at 1am. 104 days.




Miss you.

CAKE!!!!!!!!!

OK... So today has been the day of cakes!


First my buddy Brian posted on his facebook about the most amazing cake he came across!

http://www.playinghouseblog.com/2009/07/rainbow-cake.html




Wonderful! I am going to have to try that recipe!!


Second! I have a friend who is expecting a baby boy soon and I wanted to make a special baby gift for her. I decided to make a baby diaper cake. I have never attempted one so I didn't know how it would come out. None of my friends here have ever heard of a Diaper Cake. SOOO I thought I would post pictures of my creation!!! YAY! Enjoy!

Thirsty Thursday!

It is that time of year again... TIME FOR BABIES!!!! Calving is well under way and there is nothing cuter than baby calves. Enjoy the pictures from today. Your welcome.






This is Kodi... I named her.. she belongs to me now :)



Aries-
Today is the first day of Aries new life, created by Aries. Patient Aries has a dream coming true right in front of you; the opportunity to design a life that works for you. Confidence comes from believing in yourself and you helped make this one come true.

Wordless Wednesday!

Sage Rew
Age 8-Years 8 months
Lab-X

My First Child

She is Perfect, She is Beautiful.



So much for being wordless. :)

The 3 D's I hate...

Death, Dying, and Darkness.

My life this past month has been full of death, dying, and darkness. My Dad's uncle Rob passed away unexpectedly last week and we had his funeral this weekend. My cousin Michelle lost one of her friend's from injuries sustained from a car accident in May. Her funeral was today. I watched the Michael Jackson memorial last week. I read the blogs of people who are grieving for family members they have lost. I know that no one likes death. It is a part of life that we have to deal with. I just seem to have a very
irrational fear of death. I can't even watch Tv where there is death involved. Brendan was watching some program on discovery and I begged him to change the channel because I just couldn't handle it. I lay awake at night thinking about things I can't change. I will just wind myself up thinking about death till I get to the point of tears. I am ridiculous I know.

I know that I have always been taught about heaven and how we get to heaven. I Just have a hard time accepting life going on with out someone. I think about Brendan or I never knowing when our time might end. I think about not knowing how much time I have with those I love.

See... Ridiculous.

that is death. Dying on the other hand is slow normally. I lost my best friend to cancer when I was 14. It was 6 months of hell for Mandy. She had cancer and I have never been the same since.

Death, Dying, and Darkness all go hand in hand. and I hate it. ( yes I am afraid of the dark) I think it is more that I am afraid of the unknown. I am afraid of what I cannot see or comprehend. either that or I am just a chicken.


I wish I could have all those back in my life I have lost. I wish I knew when one of my goodbye's would be the last. It is sad. I am not good at handling sadness. uggggg... it's time for bed.

Maybe one day I will come to terms with life and death. At this point in my life, I am always devastated, I always feel cheated and shattered.


Xxo

Happy 4th of July!

Even though it is the 5th of July here in New Zealand I am still celebrating. Technically we celebrated last night, which was amazing! I haven't celebrated the 4th in 3 years and last night was wonderful. Brendan and I invited four other couples over to have a lasagna dinner ( I know, I know) I wish we had BBQ but it was raining. We had a great dinner followed by Fireworks in the rain. We had heaps of fireworks left over from Guy-Fawks day (English holiday) So we had a blast lighting heaps of cool fireworks off in the rain. Of course the boys got bored and started to make bombs... GREAT.



The only reason we get to celebrate this amazing holiday is because of the wonderful service members who fight for our country and keep the USA safe. So Thank you too all past, present, and future members of the US military. Happy Independence Day America!!

" Woah, did she just write that??"

Ok so I am subscribed to a few blogs that I love to read. One in particular is a grieving mother who has just lost her beautiful baby girl, and it is the most honest and well written blog I have ever read.
Heather pours her heart and soul out to her blog. Yesterday she wrote a very honest blog about how upset she is. Some random reader pretty much told her to suck it up and quit bitching. Now, I am not kidding when I mean this woman left a comment that would shatter a woman's heart even if she hadn't lost a baby. It broke my heart to even see such a cruel comment. Heather and her husband Mike are going through a parents worst nightmare and someone has the audacity to tell them that their personal thoughts are stupid???? No way! needless to say there was plenty of back up. This was by far the best reply left to the horrible commenter.



Kelly,

Please do the world a favor and go **** yourself. If you don’t want to read the blog anymore, just stop coming here. There was no need to exacerbate some one else’s pain with that kind of thoughtless, heartless and vicious comment.

What the **** should she write about? Rainbows, puppies and kittens. Apparently you don’t know that writing IS therapy, you cock-juggling thundercunt. (sorry I couldn't edit the best part lol)

I am so sick of people taking advantage of the anonymity of the internet to be so damn cruel to others. Grow a pair, Kelly and come tell someone that shit to their face.


WOW! Now I am not trying to condone internet hate out there, but that comment not only sparked a fire on the blog site but this response above had everyone in fits of laughter. Amazing. I am always amazing at the power of words. What we can express with words just makes living that much better. I pray for Heather and Mike. I don't know them, I probably will never "know" them. I do pray for them though.


Be grateful for all you have in life. You will never ever know what tomorrow will bring.





Inspirational Quote of the Day:


“Smile at each other,
smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other -- it doesn't matter who it is -- and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.”

Mother Teresa


Random fact of the day:

koala:

Koalas have twin thumbs
A Koala also has finger prints that are almost identical to ours

2,299 miles.

There are a lot of things that can happen in 2,299 miles. There is a chance that you might learn about the land you travel, you could sleep through parts of it. You could learn about yourself. You can let you mind wander. You can wish that you had updated your ipod because you went through all 1500 songs. On my 2,299 miles I learned that I do not want to sit in a car for that many miles for a LOOONG time. :) I know, I know it's supposed to be about the adventure ( which it was) but and this is a MAJOR but.

This Trip was supposed to be two days. We were to travel to the ski slopes (3 hours from our house) spend the night and return the following night. I had one set of good clothes for dinner and my ski clothes and toiletries. That was it. I am in no way joking. So at 5am we head for the said ski slopes arrive around 9am after stopping for breakfast. We get our tickets and head up the mountain only to find that the "Amazing" snow the website was claiming was a sham. A total PR stunt. the snow was Ice. I don't mean patches of Ice I mean CHUNKS of ice...



Needless to say we left after the first run. We knew we still had two days to do what we wanted so we thought we would head another 4 hours south to Wellington, The New Zealand Capital. About 12 hours later we are in the South Island of New Zealand courtesy of a 3 hour ferry ride between the cook straight. At midnight we were lucky enough to find someone who would open up and let us have a room. We were in Kaikoura. I have no idea what the place looks like at this point I just wanted to sleep.
We woke up the next morning and had no idea what we were doing. Kaikoura is known for the wildlife in the area such as whales, dolphins, and seals... So seals it was! We headed over to explore the coast line.













So somehow we ended up deciding to travel down the west coast and make our way to Queenstown ( The Snow Capital of NZ) Two days of exploring we saw a lot of just nothing but farm land and sheep... we went a whole day without cell service. We also got to see two amazing glaciers the Franz Josef and the Fox Glacier.






after we made it to Queenstown we had an amazing time snowboarding. That was until I heard about the Death of Farrah and Michael. Very, Very sad. I grew up listening to Michael like everyone else. I loved his music. Everything from the Jackson 5 to his last album Invincible




Rest in Peace to the man who helped me fall in love with music... I will never stop dancing.
"...But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone..."


in 2,299 miles your life can change. There is no doubt about it. I will never be the person I was 2,299 miles ago, might not be a bad thing. The world is beautiful, go explore.


Xox- J

A good book is all you ever need.

I have always been a nerd. I am not afraid to admit that. I have always worked hard for good grades and always try to out do myself. I have always loved school and learning. I took summer school for fun and to get a head start on my year ahead. I know, I know, I was that kid. I would never let anyone see how much I loved school or learning... It wasn't what the "cool" kids did 

( I was never cool anyway) ha ha. 

I have found that even after I left college I still have a passion for reading and learning. In fact I have decided to go back to school. ( Gasp!!) I know who goes back to school when they already did 17 years worth of schooling? Well that would be me! 

In the Fall I will be back in a university classroom taking 19 units of Early Childhood Education classes. Something I am very, very passionate about. I have always had a passion for working with little ones. From the age of 12 I had a family who asked me to babysit and I did babysit for this family for almost 10 years. I had heaps of baby-sitting gigs and I loved it. I have loved watching the little ones grow. Most of them are hitting High-school now and I still have the passion to keep working with little ones. I am very excited to get back into a learning environment. 

Even though I have a BS in Animal Science and Agriculture Education I find that I want something different. I have never been good at settling. I never settle for second best. So this fall I will again hit the books and really do my best to try something new. 

I booked my flights today to go see my family in Washington for Thanksgiving. I can't wait to spend that week with them. This will be my third time to Washington this year. That must be a record for me! 

My cousin Michelle has two beautiful little ones who I adore, Hailee and Henry. My cousin Jimmy is expecting a little girl on December 10th! Our family is in baby mode! Farmer boy and I are waiting to start a family till we have our future a little more planned out. 

I haven't seen my Mom or Dad in a couple of months. It's been a tough year for my family again. I have run out of answers. I have gotten used to the fact that I can get lost in a book and no one can bother me there. I can't hide forever, it does feel like that's what I tend to do. I hide from their problems. I think I have been dealing with "their" problems for the last 25 years. It's tough. Im still having a hard time. I know time heals all things. Give me a decade and ask me again. 

Random photos of the day- Enjoy

Inspirational Quote for Your Day 
of June 15th, 2009 
"Optimism: A cheerful frame of mind that enables 
a tea kettle to sing though in hot water up to its nose." 
Author Unknown

4 days 4 books.

So I haven't written for a week due to my attention being primarily pulled in one direction. That direction was a series of books known as Twilight. I know, I know no need for any snickering out there. I swore up and down that I would not be one of those people. Inevitable as it was I gave in. I spent the last four days with out putting the books down. I would stay up to very ungodly hours reading about this amazing love story. After reading all four I have to say I fell in love with the Characters. Stephenie Meyer did an amazing job with the story telling. I cannot wait to actually see "New Moon" in November. 

I spent all day home alone as Farmer boy went off to play with his friends at the North Island Field Days Show. I could not handle looking at another tractor. It was cold and raining so sage and I took the day to unpack. We have technically never unpacked all of our stuff from when we had the house renovated. Today was a great day for that chore. I was quite proud of what I achieved, it defiantly was no easy task. Great to get it out of the way.

I have started back at the gym and the Les Mills classes. Since winter is so slow around here it is nice to get the blood flowing in the evening. Body combat is my choice in classes... Kim and Sam and I experimented with a step class the other day and it really was horrible. :) I am not nearly as coordinated as I once thought.

Farmer Boy and I found out about two of our friends who are pregnant, it just adds to the list of eight or so we already knew about. It's amazing, it really must be in the water. 

I am now ready for some much needed sleep. No more Vampires to think about.

Woah! When did winter arrive???

Ok so living in the Southern Hemisphere will never be easy. It is the start of June and being from Bakersfield i expect this month to be the month of heat and lake trips and bbqs. I am sitting in our Uber Modern  old farm house and it is FREEZING. Not just cold. but bone Chilling cold. Our fire place has smoked it's last fire. We are waiting on the landlords to put in central heating and well it is not happening fast enough. There is only a few good things about winter here in New Zealand. 

1. Amazing Snowboarding when everyone in America is sweltering 
2. There are no cows milking on our farm
3. I have the MOST amazing heat blanket on our bed.

     4. I GET TO SLEEP IN!!!!   No more 5am mornings.    

So as I wait for June 20th to roll around (opening day at Mount Ruapehu)  I read my books and try to stay as warm as possible. I don't think this is something I will ever get used to. I miss December being the cold month. Not June. I do not like having a hot christmas... it makes no sense to this little mind of mine.

I have plans to do some more schooling soon for some Early Childhood Education classes. My Bachelors of  Science in Agriculture Education is really no good here so on to bigger and better things.   

Here is a random email I was sent today... It made my day.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies; they would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make you gain five pounds.

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. Stress reducer; Put a bag on your head. Mark it "closed for remodeling". *Caution - leave air holes.

I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend... and For those still back in California... Stay cool.

Somewhere to start

Ok, So  I have been using myspace as a blog site for over 6 years now. I wanted to have a more personal place to write things down. Brendan (My husband) and I have Just returned from our honeymoon in Australia. We just celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary. We spent 11 days in Queensland, Australia. 4 days in Surfer's paradise, 4 days in the great barrier reef, and another 3 days in Brisbane. It was an amazing experience. Both Brendan and I are certified SCUBA divers and we had the opportunity to go diving in one of the worlds most beautiful places. We are both very lucky to have such amazing opportunities. Here are a few pictures from our adventure.